Is there a treasure map leading to self-love? 💖
Right now, put your hand on your heart and take a moment to hold that protective nature within you. On some level, you’re looking out for you. In every moment, you have the opportunity to embrace the nurturer within you.
Listener Question: I'm aiming for self-love but I know I need to start with self-acceptance. Are there some milestones I can reach and celebrate? Perhaps a treasure map one could follow?
Is your name Sally? AKA, Smart little Sally Simpson? From Smarty Pants Secondary School? As you have touched on a very important notion - self-acceptance before self-love.
A man called Mick Jackson once said HEAL THE WORLD, HUN.
I reckon there should be a sequel song called “HEAL THYSELF”. As the healing of thyself is the delicious dollop of antiseptic that could create a perfect vision of society. If we all start with ourselves the external goodness will surely follow.
You’ve also highlighted an incredibly powerful tool in the art of the milestone.
Pausing for just a moment to pop your hand on your heart, to reflect on your goals and your growth is such a valuable practice to get into. You can do this anywhere. Perhaps in your morning shower you repeat the mantra “I’m an epic bitch”. During your evening poo, whisper to yourself “My body is amazing. It is a vessel for my soul and my bum knows how to give birth without me even asking it to”. Honour all the little bits and bobs that make you human. I encourage you to explore “radical self acceptance” that practitioners such as Tara Brach and Marcia Lineham call upon.
As Lineham mentions, “Radical means all the way, complete and total. It’s when you stop fighting reality, stop throwing tantrums because reality is not the way you want it, and let go of bitterness. Accept an experience with your mind, heart and body.” Rejecting reality does not change reality.
I will portray an example of two gal pals exploring the journey of radical self acceptance in the below (completely made up) scenario:
[INT. SCENE, TWO GIRLS HOLLY AND BREE, ARE SHOPPING FOR DILDOS]
Holly: Every time I seek out a romantic partner I get rejected. It’s because I am needy. I am unique. I am not wanted.
Bree aka wisdom Ranga: I get the pain you’re experiencing. Have you considered it may not be you? It’s just that in this instance you’re both not compatible?
Holly: You are attractive but WRONG Bree. The same thing happens over and over. It’s like they can tell that I am insecure and they leave me, it is a turn off.
Bree: Maybe accept that for now. Don’t judge yourself. See it as fact, as though you’re from the outside looking in. Reduce the self-blame and internalising and plonk along in life knowing you are simply a beautiful human working it out as you go.” Holly: “Oh so just accept defeat?
Bree: No. Accept what is in this moment and keep moving and growing. Be gentle with yourself. You’ve got this.
Holly: You’re annoying but wise. Should I go with the 11” or the 14”?
You have the treasure map within you my friend. Even asking this question shows how committed to the self-love experience you are. Right now, put your hand on your heart and take a moment to hold that protective nature within you. On some level, you’re looking out for you. In every moment, you have the opportunity to embrace the nurturer within you. For more self-love chats, check out ma sanitary padcast Feelz.
I look forward to being inside of your ears.
Love Breezy x
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This shit got me in my feelings.